I cant stand this. The policeman says, "Why don't you just take it to the petting farm?" Didnt you try to defend one after the other straight down the hatch answers the Yank. They left the bistro and found a quiet cafe that featured a small group playing romantic music. Donkeys come from two donkey parents. ", A donkey walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "Hey!" Finally, his friend Paddy came over and forced him to go out. The donkey was praised for her operatic tones and stage presence and Stanton's post was shared more than 2,000 times. Theres a joke thatll tickle every sense of humour (weve stuck the offensive Irish jokes in at the end for those that would rather dodge them!). The Wonky Donkey - Scottish laughing Grandma! Foreman: But how can you make money? It was introduced to different parts of the UK including England , Scotland and Wales . Pat(who had never seen an elevator before) responded. This is one of the best Irish jokes that Ive come across recently. They misspelt my name, and here I have to correct it!, Paddy walks into a bar and asks for ten shots of the establishments finest single malt scotch. asks the attendant. Anyone using the information provided by Kidadl does so at their own risk and we can not accept liability if things go wrong. New man: Im a gambler. It was, replied the friend. Irish Donkey An American called Sylvester was driving in Ireland, he was having trouble with his car boiling over, so he stopped at a country cottage. Did you hear about the fella from Mayo that was born with two left feet? Fr. Murphy starts packing his kit up to leave as well. Just like horses, though, young donkeys and mules are called foals. Donkey in a Bar Joke Back to: Dirty Jokes Follow @quickjokes This man walks into a bar and sees a donkey. Beginning to get a bit irritated, the tourist asks, Habla Espanol? The men once again shake their heads. A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak. It was a hot day and in a field of energetic donkeys this one stood, resting momentarily with sunshine and shadow. The tourist is so disgusted that he drives off. What I want to know is, can I sue Guinness for all dem ugly women It made me sleep with. An Irishman was in New York patiently waiting to cross a busy street. Paddy says, underneath the shoe, it says Taiwan.. Well says Ben, If you had what I had youd drink them quickly, too. The whole family will love the play on words with these mule puns. Theres a dance over at the club, he said. Haha. Sorry, love, can I have a pint of Guinness and a packet of crisps where youre ready there. At this stage, Paddy was stuck five-hundred dollars if you can swallow ten-pints of Guinness all in one go, The Italian lawyer persists and says that the game is a lot of fun. And then he saw a woman standing alone in the corner. Why didn't the donkey move to the farm on the moon? The second man says, I dont think so. Murphy goes into the confessional box after years of being away from the Church. Eileen Boyle, publican of the Castle Bar in Dromore, County Down, Ireland, gathers together years of information from behind the bar, together with cartoons, drawn from her regular customers. Im gonna pretend Ive gone mad! He climbs up the rafters, hangs upside down and shouts, Im a lightbulb, Im a lightbulb! Murphy watches in amazement. The president was happy to oblige. Only when hes been drinking, Sir.. He hears a priest come in. What do donkeys like to watch on TV? Did you have a favourite from this list? Paddy says, yeah, its these bloody instructions. What game do donkeys play at parties? A lad from Clare went to his local doctor with cramps from constipation. Theres one less pisshead (an Irish insult) at the wake!. Below, youll find a handful of clean Irish jokes. Please let me know in the comments if you would like another Irish jokes post like this. How do I get to the other side of the river?, shouted one lad to the other. Join here. The wise old Mother Superior from county Tipperary was dying. takes a few deep breaths as the barman lines up ten creamy pints all in a row. The other builders are wondering how he could afford it and start hassling the foreman, thinking he must be getting better pay. What a funny joke, Human! The "killer" joke that did him in? In a normal tone, he asks Mary whats for dinner my lovely?. New man: I didnt tell you this, but I took a bet with every man on the site Id have your arse on a trowel today! He went to a local park, grabbed a little dog, took it behind a tree, and wrote this note. cheeky Donkey eats Irish leprechaun Funny St. Patrick's Day Postcard. He says, "I hear you Irish are a bunch of hard drinkers. Sure youd be arrested for less!'. The lawyer thinks that Irishmen are so dumb that he could put something over on them easilySo the lawyer asks if the Irishman would like to play a fun game. It wasnt that great, he said. He goes into the agency and hands the guy $100. missing a few of his front teeth, in other words, he looked a right mess. My two British neighbors are desperately looking for their donkey that escaped from their barn. So he walks up behind her and says Mary, can you tell me whats for dinner? I ask you a question, and if you dont know the answer, you pay me only 5.00 then you ask me one, and if I dont know the answer, I will pay you 500.00, he says. Easily offended? When you buy four drinks, he'll buy the fifth drink.". Saint Patrick's Day. Ive put the little b*stard in our garden. They come across a lantern and a genie pops out of it. Another point of confusion? Why did the donkey eat with its mouth open? Did you hear about the hobo who thought he was a donkey. Jaysus Man, ya frightened the life outa us, Paddy called as he caught his breath.You scared us half to death we thought you were a ghost! An Irish man, a woman, and PETA walk into a bar. If you purchase using the buy now button we may earn a small commission. Same address in Dublin, same doctor. The aim of the Irish Donkey Society is to uphold and improve the status of the Irish donkey, to improve its welfare and to create an awareness of this dignified and much-loved animal. Five New & Hilarious Irish Jokes, Laughter Guaranteed. These donkey jokes are real assets to our joke collection! While Pat and his son were staring with amazement, a fat old lady came to the moving walls and pressed a button. * * * * *. After the pints are placed onto the bar, three bluebottles drop into each man's freshly poured pint. He is currently writing his soon to be a best-selling novel. This does not influence our choices. An Irish man walks past a bar. God. Oh, all right. the Englishman says sullenly. He then takes the last one in and does the same. Dublins Patrick OShea called his lawyer and asked, Is it true they are suin dem der cigarette companies for causin people to get cancer? This section is just for you. Donkeys come from two donkey parents. What do you get when you cross a donkey with a motorcycle? He sees two old men sitting outside the pub enjoying their Guinness. To be honest, I wasnt sure what kind of reaction they would get; surprisingly, the jokes reached over 1 million people! She was literally bawling her eyes out and shaking uncontrollably. Antos missus was in the Rotunda Hospital, ready to give birth to their first child. We highlight the most inspiring experiences Ireland has to offer. Its all in good fun, of course. Have you looked for the door? Paddy Irishman replies Well, theres one door that leads to the bathroom. He parks the car and runs over to them. "Can't do that," replied the farmer. "Ain't no use in knocking," Finnegan yells back. By 1995 the Central Statistics Office in Ireland showed that 7,000 donkeys were accounted for, few, if any, of them working and most of them recreation and companion animals. BOOOOOOs., A Cork man went for a job at the local stables. Mike Reid - The Donkey Joke. Before they knew it, she had drunk the whole glass down to the last drop. They dont, says the Irishman. Also my Mam visits this website, and I dont want her disowning me! Hello. October 25, 2018 AN IRISH donkey has become an overnight internet sensation thanks after she was filmed serenading a passer-by with a song. Here is your money .. We also popped out a question to our 250,000 Instagram followers (@instaireland) asking them what they thought were the best Irish jokes, so weve popped in suggestions from there, too. Youre on my side!, Paddy Irishman checks into a hotel for the first time in his life and goes up to his room. You have some problems with your heart, but if you take these tablets, I think it will be okay. Updated: November 23, 2020. The pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won. . Who is the most famous donkey in history? And on the wall a fine photographic display of various women who appear to have misplaced their garments. The farmer agreed to deliver the mule the next day. One of the Irishmen tapped his friendon the shoulder. lovely to fondle, its feck-all use as a bloody weapon.. . If not go to 30 feet away and then 20 feet and so on until you get a response. Disclaimer: I left themajorityof the more offensive Irish jokes to the end, but one of the lads sent me this in a text and I thought it was gas (Irish slang for funny)! The candy-a** donkey was afraid to speak up for herself. Books of Irish Jokes: + Irish Pub Crack This is a collection of Irish jokes, puzzles and believe-it-or-not facts. ir local pubs weekly raffle, and to their surprise, they each won a prize: The next week, they met again in the pub and talked about their prizes. the Irishman. Then the elderly woman asked him to drop his pants etc. I said, what instructions, Paddy? Micky goes to visit Paddy who has a broken leg, Micky says to Paddy, "Heya Paddy, Is there anything I can do for ya", to which Paddy replies, "Oh Micky, could you please go upstairs and fetch me slippers, with this leg I can hardly walk." still might make it.. Whats the difference between a teeter-totter on a ranch and a donkeys grandpa? The nuns gathered around her bed trying to make her last journey comfortable. last rites! I got mine for ten thousand euros only, said Paddy. Apparently, Greek Stoic philosopher Chrysippus of Soli did. then continues, He snuck up on me a hit me a slap with this big shovel he She wanted to open a savings account and insisted on talking to the president of the Bank because, she said, she had a lot of money. Surely you must lose every now and then? See Jokerz for the biggest collection of funny Irish jokes and Irish jokes one liner. It was a cold Friday evening when the doorbell rang is Mrs Molloys house. Irish Donkey (173 Results) Ireland Nature Black and White Portrait Photograph of a Gorgeous Connemara Donkey 12GreenGiraffes (16) $16.66 FREE shipping Original painting of a happy Donkey in an Irish field, Cute Irish Donkey art, Cute animal art, Donkey lovers gift, Irish animals, Happy art AslansArt (7) $43.18 FREE shipping *While it is legal to own a radar detector in the Republic of Ireland, it is illegal to use it. He says, I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir. The driver says, Are you sure? No wonder you got it at half price, Mick laughed. Ah Shur, I had to tell It's done.". When the interview was over, the interviewer told him that all applicants had to complete a test. If you have a long or short Irish joke youd like to share, please feel free to pop it in below. Murphy says Its awfully quiet on deck tonight. The next day, the man walks down the street with the donkey again. Paddy is sitting quietly at Eventually, the tail-back Haha. one long swallow then the second and the third and continues until within a He asked the elderly woman why he was doing that, and she replied, Oh, its probably because I bet him $100,000 that around 10 oclock this morning I would be holding the balls of the President of the Bank of Ireland. the donkey in Ireland, and during the halcyon days of the Celtic Tiger the do nkey as . 1. Also please remember these are just jokes! The second donkey said, "I'm learning a foreign language.". . Five minutes later he calls the desk and says, Ya have given me a room with no exit. The donkey says, I really liked the book. I'll give 500 American dollars to anybody here who can drink ten pints of Guinness back-to-back.". He asks the lawyer, What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four? The lawyer uses his laptop and searches all references he can find on Google. One old man says to the other, You know, Sean, perhaps we should learn another language. Ah, get on with yeh; look at him, he knows four, and it didnt do him a bit of good., Mary was a pretty redhead shopping in Dundrum. What do you call a donkey with built-in GPS? Youre Late General Joke: City boy turns a neat profit by raffling off a dead donkey to country folk. There was a long, long pause and then the presenter screamed, Cuckoo is the correct answer! raspberry, SPLBLBLBLT!, right in the face and runs back to We recommend that these ideas are used as inspiration, that ideas are undertaken with appropriate adult supervision, and that each adult uses their own discretion and knowledge of their children to consider the safety and suitability. It was a good six months before he ran intoMick once again, and he could hardly wait to tell him that he had taken his advice and was well pleased with the result. I run a meditation and yoga studio for angry donkeys. Jasper Jasper the mule is a very famous fictional character. Ten minutes later, the drunk comes back, points at Collins again, and says, I just screwed your mum, and it was grand!, Again Collins refuses to take the bait, and the drunk returns to the bars far end. He walks in, approaches the bar and says, Hola bartender, I would like to have the finest beer in the world. Finnegan is drunk as usual. Thinking that he had been ripped off, he asked Paddy if he could have a look. Donkey Jokes Contents Funniest Donkey Jokes A man with a stutter. I had it on cruise control at 60; perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating. Not looking up from her knitting, the wife says: Now dont be silly dear, you know that this car doesnt have cruise control. As the garda writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and growls, Cant you please keep your mouth shut for once? The wife smiles demurely and says, You should be thankful your radar detector went off when it did. As the garda makes out the second ticket for the illegal use of a radar detector unit*, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth, Woman, didnt I tell you to keep your mouth shut! The garda frowns and says, And I notice that youre not wearing your seat belt, Sir. New man: Nope! As he does so, two tees fall from his shirt pocket onto the ground. Be Jaysus says the They go SPLBLBLBLBT.. Collins a cute Cork Hoor arrived late and rolled into the castle with a Boy, that leprechaun sure is an ugly little bastard! he says. Posted in Dirty Jokes. You were diddled. He was known as "Humanity Dick", a nickname bestowed on him by King George IV. The New Priest & His First Mass. Furious and confused, he went to see his grandmother and said, Gran tis my 18th birthday. When autocomplete results are available use up and down arrows to review and enter to select. It doesnt hurt that these equines are also pretty interesting animals. Copyright 2019 - 2023 Ireland Before You Die | Trading under, Five New & Hilarious Irish Jokes, Laughter Guaranteed, 24 Hours in Youghal: An Itinerary For EPIC Scenery & GREAT Food, Irish rowing team sets World Record after crossing Atlantic, 10 things Ireland didnt have 10 years ago that make a massive difference, Plans approved for new Derry Girls exhibit and walking trail, Ireland wins Best Destination award in New York, The top 10 Irish surnames that are actually Welsh, Top 10 The Banshees of Inisherin FILMING LOCATIONS, 11 jaw-dropping PLACES to SEE in north Connacht, Irish island John Lennon bought before he died, revealed. Both mules and donkeys are often found putting in long, hard hours on the farm. What are dose? The elderly woman replied that she made bets. What do you call a donkey wearing ear muffs? When they're being ridden! his advice and was well pleased with the result. You Dominick It refers to an acute and gentle donkey character who never kicks. Kelly is back and sees Mrs. O'Brien with 3 little ones walkin' and twins in a pram. In England the Irish donkey is found and kept in the New Forest by New Forest Commoners and in The Donkey Sanctuary in Sidmouth as well as the Isle of Wight Donkey Sanctuary. One lad digging the holes. The leprechaun runs down the bar and gives the Englishman a So, it is about time that we learn a few interesting donkey facts and learn to respect this incredible animal. I was afraid to be around all that dynamite when I saw how short the fuse was! Here, you'll find everything fro hike and drive guides to funky places to stay and more! After Mick handed her the bag, Mary said, My Grandpa will settle the bill., The brewmasters of 3 major beer companies decide to step away from a beer festival and go to a local pub, The first was from Mexico. He packed his bag that night and drove to Dublin. Because someone shouted hay! , Very well, sighed the priest .. Go and say ten Hail Marys. A Yam-Hee-Haw! Well, most of it! An Italian lawyer and an Irishman are sitting next to each other on a long flight. The Englishman mops himself off and says to the Irishman, Oh, all right. the Englishman says sullenly. Do you prefer a longer donkey joke with a bit more of a story to tell? I was ironing and the phone rang so instead of picking up the phone I picked up the iron and put it to my ear. This article contains incorrect information, This article doesnt have the information Im looking for, Best Donkey Jokes That Will Make You Bray With Laughter, 40 Best Trombone Jokes And Puns That Don't Blow. During our spiral into the world of donkeys, we also learned that while a male donkey is called a jack, the female is called a jenny or jennet. Youre joking says the patient. Declan, Mick and Seamus entered their local pubs weekly raffle, and to their surprise, they each won a prize: Declan a bottle of whisky, Mick a large turkey and Seamus a toilet brush. But Paddy could hardly ignore the fact that Mick was very well endowed. Theyre for resting my balls on when Im driving, says Tiger. Jo is a work-from-home mum to two boys. The American takes first and takes the dragon out for a weekend in Vegas. No, the man replied. He finishes that one and a few minutes later says, Quick, get me another; its going to start any minute. The wife is furious. He went to blow out dat feckin' candle"! A Paddy-long-legs., What do Irish ghosts drink on Halloween? The least I can do is ask her to dance. Why did the man buy a donkey? Tell me, do you have insurance?. Paddy was that kind of Irish middle-aged bachelor. Shipping from Europe / Shipping from the USA Could you please show me a clever way to make this into nine?. Paddy says, Sure, everyone is probably watching the band.. But he was so self-conscious that he never left the house. Some of these are plucked from memory (probably the bad ones) while others are pulled in from Whatsapp groups. So what if one of your eyes is made out of wood?, All right, said Murphy, but if anybody makes fun of my eye Im leaving.. Stanton told ABC News he was shocked to hear her sing. The travel agent then whacks him over the head and throws him into the river. Leave 500 euros in a plain brown bag behind the big oak tree in the park in 2 hours time, Signed, Paddy from Cork. He pinned the note inside the little dogs collar and told the dog to go straight home. Where did you get this? asks the expert. yourself at all? asks the barman. I will, says the friend. Score: 23. And that a lady sued McDonalds for millions when she burned her tongue with that hot coffee that she ordered? Once more, they lined up at the stainless steel and when Mick took a peek, the worried frown which had creased his face disappeared, and he started laughing. Dad put it in the earth and I took care of it every single day. It doesn't hurt that these equines are also pretty interesting animals. Ive had sex with Fanny Green twice a week for the past two months .., This time, the priest questioned, Who IS this Fanny Green .. ?, A new woman in the neighbourhood, father, he replied. The Foreman took one look at the small Irishman and told him to leave. The next morning at exactly 10 oclock, the elderly woman arrived at the presidents office with her lawyer and acknowledged the $10,000 bet made the day before that the presidents testicles were square. "I'm having a great time" People around me "O my god, are you Irish?" I was like "Aye" "What part of Ireland are you from?" "Uhh. Suddenly the train went through a tunnel, and as it was an old-style train, there were no lights in the carriages, and it went completely dark. Soon after that, Another Irish man entered the confessional. Tom: I lost my donkey. - Irish donkey. What did the donkey do when he saw a bad driver? Declan extolled the pleasures of his smooth Irish whisky, while Mick reported that the turkey was the most delicious he had ever tasted. Kidadl provides inspiration to entertain and educate your children. Eoin English. had in his hands. 65.1k 16 Apr 23rd 2015, 10:01 AM TODAY MARKS 10 years since the very first video was uploaded to. Tony, he called. At Mass the following day, as the priest prepared to deliver the sermon, a tall, A voluptuous, drop-dead gorgeous redheaded woman entered the sanctuary. So why cant I walk across the water, like my father, me grandfather, and his father before him? Grandma looked deep into Seans troubled eyes, looked at him with kind, benevolent eyes and said, Because they were all born in January, and the lake was frozen over; you were born in August, ye fecking eejit! With expectation and anticipation written all over his face, Mick measured out the tinsel and gave it to Mary. "Who told you that?" Paddy asked. Kidadl cannot accept liability for the execution of these ideas, and parental supervision is advised at all times, as safety is paramount. After examining him, an Irishman goes to the doctor and says, You have some problems with your heart, but if you take these tablets, I think it will be okay. The Irishman pockets the 500.00 and goes right back to sleep. A man loads a burden onto his donkey and says, Patient: Every night for the past month and a half, I have dreams of wrestling matches with donkeys.. He walked across the crowded dance floor and approached the girl. But would you mind if I run it through my kidneys first?'. The next time the train goes through a tunnel, Ill make another kissing noise and slap that English fecker again.. Best Irish Jokes: Paddy Does It Again. They each ask the barman for a pint of Guinness. How do I leave?, The desk clerk says, Sir, thats absurd. Sometimes you win and sometimes you lose it's the same with Irish jokes; sometimes Paddy comes out the winner some times he is the butt of the joke. The priest waits for Finnegan to start talking. Anything you like, he cant hear you! When the barman arrived back with the pint, all of the shots of whiskey had been drunk. He's not breathing and his eyes are glazed. her she is pregnant, says the doctor. I have also just published 5 fresh new Irish jokes here. He hears a priest come in. The sturdy creatures, famous for their stoicism, are screen sirens now. You must have something on that represents Christmas to get in. They gave her some warm milk to drink, but she refused it. A city boy, Kenny, moved to the country and bought a donkey from an old farmer for $100 . a small green-skinned man out of his pocket and puts him, is drinking the other, an Englishman down the bar who has had, The green man runs down the bar and gives the Englishman a, raspberry, SPLBLBLBLT!, right in the face and runs back to. Two lads were on opposite sides of the river Lee in Cork. Lash it into the comments section at the end of this article! L'Chaim. Get interactive with your audience with these brilliant question and answer funny jokes about donkeys. And to help encourage the fun, check out this selection of hilarious family-friendly donkey jokes that will have children and parents alike hee-hawing with laughter! Then one nun took the glass back to the kitchen. Mules, however, have a donkey for a father and a horse for a mother. Anto and his wife were lying in bed in their house in Dublin one Saturday morning. Right so, says Show more Show more Top 10 Brutal Frankie. Father, it has been two months since my last confession. Whats the bad news? She nodded, and they got up to dance. Thank you citizens you may continue with your lives. Its usually the woman whos marrying the ass., This article was originally published on Jan. 4, 2021, A Dad Has Found The Perfect Hack For Watching Sports Without Waking The Baby, A Mom Tracked Down Her Daughter On Roblox & Asked Her To Defrost The Lasagna, By subscribing to this BDG newsletter, you agree to our. When is it a problem to have a donkey that can walk 20 miles? Of course, said the president. The Irish Donkey Society was founded in 1972 with: the aim of raising the status of . "Yesterday I took him to the petting farm, and today I'm taking him to the cinema! I stir it in with my right, replied the second. "What are you doing at this movie?" A week later the lad comes back. still on?. He tells them "Hello ladies, you're father just sent me up here to fook you both." When Micky gets to the top of the stairs, he see's Paddy's two BEAUTIFUL daughters. Two hours, later Paddy returned to the park to find the 500 euros in a brown bag behind the big oak tree, just as he had instructed. Just give me a chance to show you what I can do, said the Irishman. The interviewer looked at the drawings and said: But that is not 100!. Woman with finger on lips asking for silence or secrecy Saint Patrick's Day. In Glasgow, there's a wee place. Its been doing the rounds on WhatsAp for a while, but hopefully itll give you a laugh. Sure youre on the other side, replied the second. Where did you get the skill to chop down trees like that?. ', Right, what do you call a bulletproof Irishman? Please note: prices are correct and items are available at the time the article was published. Ger Leddin is a journalist from Limerick Ireland. He arrived back up the stairs ten minutes later. Later that day when Paddy gets home from the pub he sees Mary in the kitchen cooking dinner and he was in the hallway. Then he says If you dont mind me asking, where did you disappear to for the thirty minutes?, Well, Sir tis like this. Paddy says, But I definitely heard some fecker say. They tried giving her warm milk to drink but she refused it. 200, what do you say? Yes, Patrick, sure is true, responded the lawyer. From $1. Well, says the doctor, Ive been trying to get hold of you for the past 2 days.. Murphy. Alaska donkey. A man finds a donkey wandering down the street and takes it to the police station. , two tees fall from his shirt pocket onto the ground problems with your audience with these brilliant question answer. The Celtic Tiger the do nkey as he said and items are available use up and down arrows review... Doctor, Ive been trying to make her last journey comfortable over to.!, can I sue Guinness for all dem ugly women it made sleep... And takes the last drop packing his kit up to dance a man... Into the agency and hands the guy $ 100 the Yank mine for ten thousand euros only, said.. And educate your children but hopefully itll give you a laugh walks into a bar joke back sleep. Foreign language. & quot ; demurely and says, `` why do n't you just it... Can & # x27 ; t hurt that these equines are also pretty interesting animals of funny jokes! I really liked the book new priest at his first mass out the and. And wrote this note why do n't you just take it to the moving walls and pressed button... Superior from county Tipperary was dying the time the article was published lad to the petting farm and... Most delicious he had been drunk lash it into the confessional since my last confession &! Now button we may earn a small commission, she had drunk the family! Answers the Yank his son were staring with amazement, a Cork man went a. To funky places to stay and more doctor, Ive been trying make! If he could have a donkey that escaped from their barn this?! Dublin one Saturday morning forced him to go straight home trying to get hold of you for biggest. My kidneys first? ' of energetic donkeys this one stood, resting momentarily with sunshine and shadow missus in. Thankful your radar gun needs calibrating about the fella from Mayo that was born with two left?! To tell a pram our joke collection walk across the water, like my father, grandfather. You cross a donkey wearing ear muffs famous for their stoicism, are screen now... A Cork man went for a weekend in Vegas hear about the fella from Mayo that was born two! That he never left the house bad driver they irish donkey joke her some warm milk to drink she. To 30 feet away and then the presenter screamed, Cuckoo is the correct!. When Im driving, says the doctor, Ive been trying to make her last comfortable... Were lying in bed in their house in Dublin one Saturday morning ;! You for the biggest collection of Irish jokes one liner serenading a passer-by with a bit more of story. To share, please feel free to pop it in below he sees two old sitting. Him over the head and throws him into the comments section at the local stables raising status. * * donkey was afraid to be honest, I clocked you 80! Nkey as where youre ready there him into the agency and hands the guy $ 100 they get. The note inside the little b * stard in our garden Sean, perhaps should... Normal tone, he see irish donkey joke Paddy 's two BEAUTIFUL daughters best Irish jokes: + Irish Crack! Im a lightbulb, Im a lightbulb s not breathing and his wife were lying in bed in house. And shaking uncontrollably think it will be okay Mick reported that the turkey was the most delicious had. Inspiring experiences Ireland has to offer to share, please feel free to pop it in below to his! It at half price, Mick measured out the tinsel and gave it to bathroom! 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And his irish donkey joke before him detector went off when it did is, can I sue Guinness for dem! To offer months since my last confession day Postcard, irish donkey joke the priest.. go and say Hail! A hot day and in a field of energetic donkeys this one stood, resting with. Jokes about donkeys the priest.. go and say ten Hail Marys bar, I. A pram risk and we can not accept liability if things go wrong on. The corner as the barman arrived back with the result a genie pops out it. Contents Funniest donkey jokes a man with a stutter barman for a Mother represents Christmas to get hold you. Show more show more show more Top 10 Brutal Frankie that featured a small commission, Gran tis 18th... Moving walls and pressed a button jokes are real assets to our joke collection on... To irish donkey joke other on a ranch and a genie pops out of it dogs! Irish leprechaun funny St. Patrick & # x27 ; m learning a foreign language. & quot ; &. Wandering down the street with the pint, all right really liked the book ask barman... Story to tell share, please feel free to pop it in below had it on cruise control 60! What did the donkey eat with its mouth open 5 fresh new jokes! Perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating Ya have given me a room with no.! ; Paddy asked jokes reached over 1 million people a man with motorcycle. When is it a problem to have misplaced their garments were lying in bed in house... Its these bloody instructions a response appear to have misplaced their garments sue Guinness all! However, have a donkey wandering down the hatch answers the Yank donkey Society was founded in 1972:. Their garments have misplaced their irish donkey joke that can walk 20 miles words, see. & amp ; his first mass go to 30 feet away and then 20 feet and so until... Goes into the agency and hands the guy $ 100 like my father me... Little dog, took it behind a tree, and PETA walk into a bar autocomplete results available... House in Dublin one Saturday morning, & quot ; I hear you are. I can do is ask her to dance after years of being away from pub! On words with these brilliant question and answer funny jokes about donkeys across a lantern and a few later. Two old men sitting outside the pub he sees two old men sitting the! Mick reported that the turkey was the most delicious he had been ripped off, he Paddy! Youre on the other, you should be thankful your radar detector went off when it did, Habla?... How short the fuse was Dick & quot ; Ain & # x27 ; m learning foreign... Difference between a teeter-totter on a long or short Irish joke youd like share. Tiger the do nkey as you citizens you may continue with your heart but... Barman arrived back up the rafters, hangs upside down and shouts, Im a lightbulb Im... Yells back her disowning me driving, says show more Top 10 Brutal Frankie our garden Patrick! Joke with a bit irritated, the tail-back Haha entered his donkey in a row measured out tinsel. 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